In the very small group of people that know about my upcoming surgery, and the journey I’m on. Most of the circle of people in the know were told by other people. It’s not that I’m embarrassed to say that I’m having surgery. It’s that I don’t want to deal with other people’s hang ups. Or their preconceived judgements. Even when I was younger I thought poorly of people who got the surgeries. I never said anything because I was raised with manners. But, in my heart I judged and it was not kind. It might have had more to deal with the person who got the procedure. And my dislike for them bled over to the surgery.
However I’ve gotten a lot of people asking me if I’m sure that I want to have surgery, which leads to me defending a choice that I’ve made for myself. It’s ironic that over my life I’ve had a lot of people suggest surgery, and I’ve always fought tooth and nail against the idea of it. The difference here is no one is forcing me.
The Reasons Why Now…..And Go.
- With the current administration Medicare may not pay for the surgery. Paying for it out of pocket isn’t at all within the limited restraints. The new American healthcare act will limit the money Medicare is able to spend on patients. That very limited amount of money will go immediately to pay for my medications and my general doctor.
- While I am obese I am healthy-obese. Meaning at this time I don’t have diabetes, high blood pressure or cardiac issues. I do have rather serious issues, but those big hitters are high on the mortality rate. See I have all of those on both sides of my family. I was born pre-doomed with the genetic flaw.
- I want to travel. I want to be able to travel. Do things. I don’t want to just feel so trapped in my body.
- I want to watch my nieces, and nephews get married. Grow up. Make mistakes. Succeed. I want to be there for them, and with them for as long as I can. I don’t have children and they’re as close to mine as I can get.
- I want to publish my book.
- I want to feel confident when I go outside instead of waiting for someone to emotionally attack me.
- I want to wear cute cloths. I want to wear all the things I see, ogle over, and then flip past. I want to feel beautiful. And, when people look at me I don’t want it to be with such disgust that I hate going out of the house.
I have so many reasons to live. And I’ve almost died so many times that do I really want to squander my chance to live?
Keep the faith, and go onward my Leading Ladies and Gents.