A lot has happened in the last week. You’ll have to excuse me for being silent, but I’m here now. So I saw the dietitian, and it went really well. Much better than the first dietitian I saw who did nothing but shame me. Not just fat shame me, but everything about me. Even my sister who was there understood why I didn’t respond. Maybe some people respond to ‘tough love’ but I don’t. And, you can’t walk in and just assume that everyone you meet does. I rebel or it alerts my survival mechanisms and I get angry. Attacking me is not the way to get me to listen to what you have to say. But, this meeting didn’t go like that at all. She was friendly, she listened, and gave some good suggestions outside of the pamphlet. And, she even hugged me at the end and told me she was proud of me. That I was the first person that’s come to see her in the 6 months she’s been in this area that she’s proud of. It was really awesome that she also had bariatric surgery 20 years ago, so she’s been through it.
So some of the advice I got.
The day before the surgery I have to drink a strong laxative. She advised me to go to Sonic get a route 44 limeade, buy the cherry flavored one, and then mix it together and drink it. She says that’s the best way to get the god awful medicine down.
Another suggestion was that after the surgery to get ice from sonic so I can have something to chew. The diet after surgery for 3 weeks is clear liquid + protein shakes.
I also had an appointment with my surgeon June 31st. I lost more weight, and I’m at 378 now. My final checkpoint was the dietitian, and Monday June 5th is the surgery. The 31st was a hard day for me. In the waiting room when I got there was one of my childhood nemeses. One of the girls who made fun of me, and made my life miserable by bullying me. One of the very same girls that hurt me so much by lying to the school counselor about how they were treating me. She wasn’t a good counselor because she blamed me the victim, and said it was all in my head. Even though I went home every day and cried. So that was how it started. Luckily the doctor gave me a script for my severe ptsd/white coat syndrome. But, I had to go to the hospital for pre-op. However they didn’t tell me that I needed assessment. Which means I got stuck by needles. A total of 7 times. Because, the first nurse was an idiot. The second just couldn’t get it. Also, when they called the ‘pick team’ they used the ultra sound after stabbed me with the needle. How does that make sense? Luckily my sister came with me and started getting someone who can do their job there. Needless to say I had a total breakdown. I cried, rocked back and forth and I really wanted to run away. I even said, “I don’t want to be at a hospital where the nurses can’t even get some blood.”
I know I’m a hard stick. My veins disappear when they take their finger off. But, they always want to go for my hands with is a no no. Patient rights mean that I have a right to say no to what nurses/hospital staff does to my body. You do too. Don’t let them dig with a needle. When you reach your stopping point stop them.
But, I stayed. I didn’t leave. And, finally we got someone who could get it done. Or at least mostly done. The veins she hit didn’t last long, and she ended up not getting the cbc. But, she worked it out that they can do that when I come in. But, most of this tests were for some stupid screening to find out if I have a blood clot. The blood test somehow said I was in the range at risk which means I had to have an Ultrasound on my legs. And, you know what they found…nothing. They took 8 vials of blood, and found nothing. I guess I should be grateful that they’re so thorough. But, it’s hard to feel that way when you’re covered in black, blue, and purple; freaking out about your surgery; freaking out about them not having any spots for the Iv, and no one bothered to tell you about the assessment that took seriously all day. We got to the surgeons at 11 and got home at 5 pm.
I’m ordering my purse today. And, I’m going to try and put some other goals/rewards on my page.
Keep the faith, and go onward my Leading Ladies and Gents.